Repugnant Habit of Making Rude, Personal Remarks : Clear Case of Someone Who Lacks Social Grace and Etiquette

I would like to comment on a particularly annoying and ill mannered habit practised by quite a number of Malaysians. They seem to delight in making rude, insensitive and negative personal comments quite nonchalantly in communication and in social settings.

This habit is not confined to the less educated individuals in Malaysian society. It is quite common to see and hear even so-called educated and professional individuals make these insensitive remarks.

What is even more galling is that occasionally when they are confronted by the individual concerned, instead of realising their mistake and apologising immediately and unconditionally, they try to pass off the comment as though they really care for the individual! This is, in my view, adding insult to injury.

No friend or colleague worth his salt would ever unnecessarily embarrass another friend, especially in public. Nothing can be further from the truth. Sometimes the offending party’s cheeky response is that you are being too sensitive. It is actually the reverse…it highlights a clear lack of social etiquette, gross insensitivity and poor upbringing by the unrepentant perpetrator!

In my many years of working with colleagues in the United Kingdom, Australia, Republic of Ireland, Sri Lanka, Hong Kong and South Africa as well as Malaysia, never once did I encounter an instance of someone passing uncalled for comments of a personal nature.

The trouble here is that one does it so often without realising the tremendous damage he inflicts on working relationships. In many instances, he gets away with it and so he is lulled into believing that it is alright to carry on in that socially repugnant way.

People like these who delight in passing such rude remarks are cultural and social misfits. More people should stop them there and then in their tracks. If they do not change, do stay away from such toxic and uncharitable people.

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